The horror film
My sister always said that after she became pg with her son there was always a “horror film going on in the back of her head”. You know, the worst possible things happening? Yeah, I got that.
It all started yesterday. I had the day off. I spent the morning sleeping and the afternoon leisurely running light errands. I had a healthy breakfast, snacked on veggies, and made a positively scrumptious dinner. I napped, relaxed, shopped a bit, and rubbed my expanding belly. I felt good. It scared the hell out of me. I’m not supposed to feel good!!! I also (tmi) had some digestive changes which didn’t help… Sorry…
Rational me would say I felt good because I wasn’t working. I wasn’t stressed out, I had good sleep, I was relaxed. Rational me would say the digestion changes were due to laying off the dairy a bit and keeping veggies in my diet. Rational me would say this. This is not rational me. This is now protector me.
I have no cause for alarm. I have no bleeding at all, nothing that would even remotely be a sign of something wrong. But I can’t help it. I have wanted this for so long, I will be damned if it’s taken away. I do shots and pills to sustain my pregnancy. I take every single necessary precaution to make sure my child(ren) are safe and sound.
But there’s still that damn horror film. Someone asked me if I was feeling better after a bout of neausea the other day. I told her I won’t feel better for another 18 years at least. And it’s true!