My sister always said that after she became pg with her son there was always a “horror film going on in the back of her head”. You know, the worst possible things happening? Yeah, I got that.

It all started yesterday. I had the day off. I spent the morning sleeping and the afternoon leisurely running light errands. I had a healthy breakfast, snacked on veggies, and made a positively scrumptious dinner. I napped, relaxed, shopped a bit, and rubbed my expanding belly. I felt good. It scared the hell out of me. I’m not supposed to feel good!!! I also (tmi) had some digestive changes which didn’t help… Sorry…

Rational me would say I felt good because I wasn’t working. I wasn’t stressed out, I had good sleep, I was relaxed. Rational me would say the digestion changes were due to laying off the dairy a bit and keeping veggies in my diet. Rational me would say this. This is not rational me. This is now protector me.

I have no cause for alarm. I have no bleeding at all, nothing that would even remotely be a sign of something wrong. But I can’t help it. I have wanted this for so long, I will be damned if it’s taken away. I do shots and pills to sustain my pregnancy. I take every single necessary precaution to make sure my child(ren) are safe and sound.

But there’s still that damn horror film. Someone asked me if I was feeling better after a bout of neausea the other day. I told her I won’t feel better for another 18 years at least. And it’s true!

9 Comments

  1. yeah….that horror film will play with you..:( every pregnancy i felt the same way….just keep thinking as positive as you can and doing all that you are doing to make sure you are healthy and the bean(s) is/are the same. seriously, the nausea right now will come and go…watch out about 7 weeks, that’s when it all seems to just kick into high gear…nausea, constipation, heartburn, insomnia…you’ll love it all when it hits too! i know you will because it will reassure you that all is going just as expected inside that growing belly of your’s…*hug*

    oh, and just an fyi, i can speak from experience that the horror film does not stop at 18 years…*sigh* he’s 22 and it plays even louder some days! 😉

    love you!!!!

  2. yeah….that horror film will play with you..:( every pregnancy i felt the same way….just keep thinking as positive as you can and doing all that you are doing to make sure you are healthy and the bean(s) is/are the same. seriously, the nausea right now will come and go…watch out about 7 weeks, that’s when it all seems to just kick into high gear…nausea, constipation, heartburn, insomnia…you’ll love it all when it hits too! i know you will because it will reassure you that all is going just as expected inside that growing belly of your’s…*hug*

    oh, and just an fyi, i can speak from experience that the horror film does not stop at 18 years…*sigh* he’s 22 and it plays even louder some days! 😉

    love you!!!!

  3. Ugh…I’m feeling the horror film too!!! Since I’m a teacher my summer break was absolutely wonderful…those early few weeks of getting pregnant…now I have to get up every morning and function (no resting…no afternoon naps!) and I’m freaking. I did have a light coloration on my pantiliner though…that freaked me out a bit…*sigh*

    Praying our horror stories will soon change into fairy tales!! :o)

  4. Ugh…I’m feeling the horror film too!!! Since I’m a teacher my summer break was absolutely wonderful…those early few weeks of getting pregnant…now I have to get up every morning and function (no resting…no afternoon naps!) and I’m freaking. I did have a light coloration on my pantiliner though…that freaked me out a bit…*sigh*

    Praying our horror stories will soon change into fairy tales!! :o)

  5. I remember at 5 weeks I would have days where I felt really good and I was terrified about it too!

    And then right before 6 weeks, BAM!!! the CONSTANT, OVERWHELMING nausea started and hasn’t left, so I always feel like crap.

    It’ll come and you’ll be like "Ugggh, why was I ever worried, I HATE feeling like this." But it’ll still reassure you that you feel like an absolute piece of poo all the time.

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