Struggling with Anxiety
Let’s talk about something that not many people discuss – anxiety and depression.
The reason I am writing this is because I know so many that suffer from some form. I knew friends who attempted (and some succeeded) to hurt themselves or take their own life. Thankfully I never EVER had those thoughts. I never once contemplated hurting myself or anyone else. But I did have a darkness around me that was so hard to shake.
I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety a little over a year ago. I realized that I had ben suffering from it for a while and my doctor concluded that it was a stem of post-partum depression that I never wanted to face. I thought “why the heck am I sad?” Three years ago I gave birth to the two most beautiful, precious children, I had a loving husband who cared for every little detail about me, always kind and understanding. So the feelings of sadness and anxiousness were pushed out of my mind because it couldn’t be possible that I was unhappy. But with such a jolt to my life – times two – no matter how amazing and wonderful something might be, a drastic change can have severe effects.
I dealt with this any way I could – I ate better, stayed productive, and immersed myself into my children. I smiled on the outside but I knew inside I felt like screaming. I didn’t sleep, and when I was able to it was broken and far from refreshing. I started letting things like daily chores and household stuff slide. I cried at the drop of a hat. So finally after almost 2 years I decided to see my doctor about it and she helped me control it with medication, diet, and exercise.
Things got better, then they got really good – so good that I weaned off my medication. I was so happy to be able to take my small family to New York City for a week, then we bought a house and my husband got his dream vehicle (a vintage Ford). Everything seemed to be going great. Then about a month ago I started getting those old familiar feelings. The short temper, the lack of motivation, and just an overall cloud over my head. Which is why you may have noticed posts are not as frequent as normal. I took some time away to focus on me (and am forever grateful for my two assistants who picked up my slack).
I decided to see my doctor again, who again prescribed anti-depression medication to me. I have also again started to eat better and get out for some exercise which is a proven mood-lifter. I feel better now than I have in a while 🙂 I know now those feelings of “suck it up, buttercup”weren’t realistic and I needed help from my doctor.
Why am I writing this? Well, I know more and more people who are in the same boat. It seems like everywhere I turn there is someone who needs a shoulder or a hug. But sometimes that just isn’t enough. If you are feeling like there is a cloud over your head that you just can’t shake, I urge you to do something about it, whether it’s medication, a lifestyle change, anything to get you feeling like yourself. Because, frankly, it sucks to feel helpless.
There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. If you need help see your doctor or check out Freedom from Fear.