So I wanted to clear things up a bit about my previous post… my sister and I had a nice long convo via email and I think that it makes more sense of how I feel about the whole MIL situation. So here’s some exerpts from said emails…
I think my rant was more along the line of her comment of staying “a while”. She tends to overstay her welcome. I have never experienced someone like that before, mainly because the people who come visit I actually enjoy being around and aren’t all judgy if I do something differently than they do. For instance, last night she was making dinner and wanted a scrubber for baked potatoes. First off, I always hand scrub potatoes because it’s easier, or I peel them. Secondly, I don’t eat the skin of baked potatoes. Thirdly, I hardly have them at all and when I do I buy organic. That goes for all of my fruits/veggies (which 99% of the time I peel). And scrubbers are full of bacteria. Ew. So I usually use a wash if I need to but ran out. She kinda got this judgy look and asked if I even eat vegetables. Because I don’t have a damn scrubber?! And since when is a carb filled starchy root a veggie anyway?
(glad to make you laugh, cuz I know you are 😉
Anyway, it’s not that I don’t want her to be able to see the kids. I totally do. But it’s hard for her to understand it’s gotta be on my terms. With my family, we do things very similar. I don’t feel overrun and out of my element my family members come to visit, and neither does Josh. I’m not on edge. And even though I have never had to tell any of my family to back off, I feel like I could without hurt feelings. With her I have to be careful what I say. She’s proven this (not getting into that one…).
I totally get it’s gonna be a transition. This has been something we have been planning for 10 years now. But at the same time Josh and I need to be able to get into our routine and I feel like with her I would be getting into her routine. It’s different. I know she won’t give us space. I feel like she would take over. Know what I mean? Plus Josh and I need bonding time. We want to get to know our kids and I just can’t see that with her constantly in my grill telling me what I am doing wrong. I feel like my side of the family is all encouraging and understands. Josh’s side has a lot of negativity and judgement and I don’t think they quite understand how many children I’ve grown up around and how, even though I haven’t ever been a mom, I have an understanding on how I want to be. And I can change diapers lol!
Like I said, I want them to visit. It’s an exciting time. BUT I don’t want them to practically move in…
My sis really put my mind at ease. She has faith that Josh and I will be great parents, and even though it will be hard, it will be worth it. It will be fun.
We just need to be firm….