My twins are 3 1/2 years old now. Time FLIES, right? Well, for the past year we have been working on potty training. We had it. WE HAD IT.

And then it all went to shit. literally and figuratively.

I started with introducing them to the toilet until they got comfortable with it. They were more comfortable with using potty chairs over a ring on the regular toilet. Ok, I will take that. This went on for a little while, really just getting them to sit on it before their bath.

Then I started bribing them with m&m’s. so that worked well. When I ran out of m&m’s I figured I just wouldn’t give them any, instead I stuck with positive reinforcement. While Dylan got more and more used to peeing and pooping on the potty, Riley still pooped in her underwear. Then one day she started pooping in the potty. HURRAH!!

Even though they started regularly going, they still went in their little potty chairs. I didn’t mind so much cleaning them out because at least I wasn’t changing diapers anymore. But then they wanted to clean them out. I am all for the kids trying new things, but when it comes to handling waste I am DONE. It ends up spilling on the floor, themselves, and there’s only so many times I can clean up that mess. That’s where I said “ok, guess what? You are doing SO GOOD that you get to start using the BIG toilet!!”.

They apparently didn’t show the same enthusiasm as I.

Sure they were fine at first. They got excited when they used the potty and declared it proudly. But then a few weeks went by and something happened. They started getting lazy. It started with Riley. She reverted back to pooping in her underwear. Then she started peeing in her underwear. Then Dylan started peeing in his underwear.

I’ve tried positive reinforcement. I have tried the “no big deal” approach. I tried special treats. I even tried things like no iPad or TV until they keep their underwear dry. I’ve tried charts.

This morning I was at the end of my rope. They woke up, I got underwear on them, they had breakfast. Riley proceeded to take a piss in the middle of the living room – not 10 seconds after I told her “let’s go to the potty”. I cleaned her up, got new undies for her. Explained to her that big girls don’t pee in their underwear. She seemingly understood and said she would try. 45 minutes later I hear that knowing trickle in the hallway where she is hiding and peeing. I again talked to her while I was getting her into the bath when Dylan came in and said “Mommy! I peed!”. Oh my god. “Where?” “On the kitchen counter!”

First of all, what the HECK was he doing on the kitchen counter? It’s almost like he KNEW I was busy with Riley and took advantage of that fact. I got him undressed and stuck him in the tub. Went into my once clean kitchen and there is was – a giant puddle on the counter. Greeeaaaaat. So out came the bleach and rags and I scoured away while they blissfully splashed in the tub.

While they were occupied I started cleaning up and decided that today toys needed to be earned. I kept the tv off and their entertainment was a stack of books. If they wanted anything else they needed to earn it.

I don’t know if this is a good idea, I haven’t had a whole lot of luck with much else. I am trying to explain to them that all of their friends are potty trained and they can’t go to preschool until they are accident free. Maybe I should go back to the potty chairs. Or m&m’s. I don’t know.

All I know is that I am ready to give in to the idea of buying Depends for them as a college gift.