She Believed She Could… My Long Journey Toward Being A Mother

She believed she could… so she did.

This phrase has echoed in my life constantly – starting my own business, buying a home, and going to college. So much so that I have it tattooed on my forearm. But nothing is represented more by this phrase to me than the birth of my children. That’s why when CROSS Pens asked me for my story and wanted to gift an engraved pen to me, I knew exactly what I wanted etched.

Flash back to 1999…

Newly married, happy, ready to start a family. We did wait for a little bit of time to start trying because we wanted to live our newlywed life just for a little bit, just us. So 2 years later we decided “it was time”.

So we tried. And failed. Tried again. Failed again. Months went by and the only thing we saw were single lines and countless tears. I went to see a specialist and they couldn’t find a reason why. Insurance was only covering a small portion of the testing so we were forced to either go into debt or seek other alternatives.

Over the next 5 years we continued to try (and fail) and saved up every penny we could to continue our quest to get pregnant. We also moved to Portland from San Jose during this time. Jobs changed and insurance changed for the better. I also discovered that one of the top reproductive endochronologists in the nation was based right here in Portland. How exciting!

I started going to Dr. Bankowski in late 2005. He started aggressively testing and after 2 years of that gave me news of a solution – in-vitro fertilization (IVF). It was an expensive process but since we had saved up AND had our better insurance we were ready. What I wasn’t ready for was the news that I had to undergo 2 surgeries prior to starting the process which would delay it again by months. I was so tired of waiting, but I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

In June/July 2008 I started taking my needed medications. It was hard to inject myself 2 or more times a day but I kept telling myself “I believe I can, I believe I can…”. I believed I could be a mother and make my husband a father. Finally after 9+ years of crying, hoping, dreaming, and waiting I saw it. 2 lines. TWO LINES!

Then my ultrasound showed 2 babies. Those babies became my 6 year old twins, Dylan and Riley. They are everything I have ever dreamed of and more. While we have our fair share of trials and tribulations that naturally come with parenthood, my life is exactly how I had hoped it would be, 15 years ago when these two were just a wish.

I never gave up. I never stopped trying. I knew that if I believed I could, then I would.
She Believed She Could… My Long Journey Toward Being A Mother

What’s your #WriteGift story?


CROSS has always championed the pursuit of greatness. From the spark that inspires a passion, to the hard work and creativity needed to make it happen. It takes courage and a lot of heart, but those who take this path are the ones who make their mark on this world.

CROSS was established in 1846 and to this day, receiving a CROSS fine writing instrument is a symbol of achievement, accomplishments, and human potential, all while being a luxury fine writing instrument. CROSS seeks to provide those possessing extraordinary vision and a strong entrepreneurial spirit with the tools needed to make their mark. CROSS will always continue to be the #WriteGift for recognizing the deserving moments in anyone’s life from a job promotion, to marriage, to graduation… Who is deserving in your life?

*This post is sponsored by CROSS Pens. All opinions are my own.