So I was reminded that I have an old blog. One that I started in 2008 that, amazingly, is still out there on the Internet. I started reading it… And it’s a little bit funny how vastly different things are now. It made me really think.
A lot changes in 6 years. Six years ago I was working at a great clothing store BCBG Max Azria. I was trying to have a baby. Every other post was about my process – the medications, the exams, the findings… I haven’t written on it since 2011. And I realized something else changed.
I wrote from the heart.
I put my soul into my posts back then. I didn’t have an agenda. I didn’t have sponsored-post-this and review-that. I wrote like I was talking to my best friend. It makes me sad that I, like so many other bloggers out there, got caught up in the business of blogging. Yes – it’s a business. I make money from my blog. But I lost my voice.
My posts were sometimes sad, sometimes funny, sometimes ranting. One of my favorite frivolous posts is about who I would have casted in the movie Confessions of A Shopaholic. It was just dumb and silly, and creative, not mindless crap. Just a break from normal life. So here I am now. A mom. A wife. A blogger. But I need to have that balance between sponsored content (because, hey, I have bills to pay!) and telling the world who I am.
I am determined to find my voice again. This is happening.
I think I have been afraid to talk about things like the kids driving me nuts, or my love/hate relationship with rain and snow. Those normal things. The things that some of you may say “yep, I can relate”. So here goes. I am going to start writing like I used to again. I want to tell you all my story of infertility, my experience with IVF, and really? Just talk. Just be ME.