I had a bit of a freak out yesterday about IVF. I feel like I have been taking thise whole thingwell, but it just got to me. It’s 2009. In 2001 I saw my OB/GYN about fertility. That means it’s been 8 long years of a whole lot of nothing. Well, not nothing. I DID have tests, pills, injections, monitoring, lying about why I don’t have kids, early morning doctor visits, IUI, and more people looking at my hoo-haw than I care to know. Most people know exactly how many ultrasounds the have had. I lost count somewhere in the 20’s.

My doctor was always impressed by my positiveness each month when I went in for new tests because the last ones didn’t work. Except for the first time, I never cried when I got the negative beta results back.

Now it’s come down to test tubing it. And frankly, I’m scared to death.