So… My body has stopped producing milk. I got that 5oz on Saturday. Since then. Nothing. Well, not nothing. Maybe a tablespoon during an hour long pumping session. My breasts don’t feel full, I have to squeeze like hell to get a teeny bit expressed to try to entice my babies to nurse, or to get it started for pumping. I just finished pumping and got literally a few drops. How the hell do women produce enough to stockpile??

So it’s starting to make sense – Riley and Dylan don’t like nursing because they aren’t getting anything out of it.

I have tried drinking a ton of water. I have tried red raspberry leaf tea. I am willing to try mothers milk tea and the herb Shell mentioned in the previous post’s comments. I am even going out to rent a stronger double pump. But honestly, I feel dry now. And I am feeling like this is my body’s way of telling me it ain’t happening.

Fuck.

I talked to my mom about it. She said she also always had milk issues. She was never able to pump more than an ounce. One of my sisters had milk issues as well. Maybe we just aren’t the pumping type??

So I know it’s not my fault. I’ve done everything I can to nourish my children’s little bodies with the best milk possible – my own – and there have been constant obstacles. I have worked hard at trying to nurse, I still do. I have tried every little thing that every friend, family member, and lactation expert told me to try.

I told myself I would not beat myself up over this should it not work out. But I can’t help feeling like I have failed.

So the best I can do now is continue my feeble attempt of milking a rock and continue to make sure my babies are fed. They are 3 weeks old as of this Thursday. How much longer can I do this until it’s enough?
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