I am feeling better, thanks in HUGE part to the comments you all have given me 🙂 I didn’t know this would be as hard as it is. I have done IUI 3x, I have been in the TWW countless times, but this is different.

This time I know for a fact I have embryos in me. Whether or not they have implanted I don’t know. But I know that I have tried.

I haven’t felt nearly the same discomfort I felt between the ER and the ET. I have been moody and a little depressed. I am trying to convince myself this has worked, but then I think it hasn’t. Nothing else has worked, why should this?

But then I listen to people like R*, a coworker. I told her about what was going on and every time I say “I hope this works”, she gets “mad” (not mad) and says “don’t say that! Say that you know it worked and keep those positive thoughts! you have a baby or 2 in there, don’t forget that”.

Every once in a while I feel a little twinge in my uterus. not often, but I did feel it on the way home. Every time I feel it, I ask aloud, “is that you, little one?” Because if it is, I want him/her/them to know my voice and know that mommy loves them dearly and always will, no matter what.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done.